37 | Divorce, Co-Parenting & Special Needs Planning | Mary Ann Hughes
Divorce can be one of the hardest transitions a family faces. When a child has autism, developmental disabilities, or other long-term support needs, that transition often brings even more questions. How do you keep things stable for your child? How do you plan for therapies, benefits, and future care? And how do you move through such a painful season without losing sight of your child’s well-being?
In this episode of the Autism Family Resource Podcast, Brian Keene talks with certified divorce coach, mediator, and parenting coordinator Mary Ann Hughes. Mary Ann brings both professional expertise and lived experience as the mother of two young adults on opposite ends of the autism spectrum. She shares practical insight into how parents can navigate divorce in a more child-centered, thoughtful, and future-focused way.
This conversation is especially valuable for families who are in the middle of separation, considering divorce, or simply want to understand how to be better prepared if life changes unexpectedly.
Listen to the Full Episode
Listen to this episode for practical support around divorce, co-parenting, future planning, and protecting the needs of children with autism and other disabilities.
Memorable Quote
“This is not the end. It’s the start of something new and something different.”
In This Episode We Discuss
Why special needs divorce planning is different from a more typical divorce
How to talk with children about divorce in a supportive way
Why social stories can help reduce confusion and anxiety
The importance of moving carefully instead of rushing decisions
What it means to keep the child at the center of the process
Why long-term planning matters for therapies, education, and adult services
How benefits and financial planning can be affected by divorce
The role of mediation, coaching, and parenting coordination
Key Themes From the Conversation
Children need support, structure, and reassurance
One of the most practical parts of this episode is Mary Ann’s discussion of how to share divorce-related information with children. She explains how important it is to communicate calmly, keep the tone reassuring, and provide structure around what is changing and what is staying the same. For autistic children especially, this kind of predictability can make a difficult transition feel less overwhelming.
Social stories can be powerful tools
Mary Ann shares how she used a social story to help her own children understand divorce. This is such a meaningful takeaway for families because social stories can offer a concrete, visual, and repeatable way to explain hard concepts. When used thoughtfully, they can help children process change with more clarity and less fear.
Special needs planning requires a longer lens
Another major theme in the conversation is that divorce planning cannot focus only on the immediate legal process. Families may also need to think about therapies, educational supports, adult services, guardianship issues, financial planning, and future living needs. That broader view can help parents avoid decisions that may create unintended problems later.
Child-centered planning matters more than “winning”
Mary Ann repeatedly brings the focus back to the child. Rather than letting divorce become only about conflict between adults, she encourages families to ask what will best support the child’s future. That mindset can shape decisions around co-parenting, finances, benefits, and the tone of the entire process.
Common Questions Parents Ask
How should I talk to my child about divorce if they struggle with change?
Simple, calm, and predictable communication usually helps most. Social stories, visuals, and repeated reassurance can help children understand what is happening without overwhelming them with adult details.
Why is divorce planning different when a child has special needs?
Because there may be additional layers involving therapies, benefits, school services, medical care, and future planning. Decisions made during divorce can affect a child’s support systems long after the legal process ends.
Can parents still work together after divorce if their child has high support needs?
They often need to. While every family is different, children with long-term support needs may require ongoing collaboration around care, services, finances, and future planning even after divorce is finalized.
Why This Conversation Matters for Families
Many families facing divorce already feel stretched emotionally, financially, and logistically. When a child has autism or other support needs, those pressures can become even heavier. This episode offers a reminder that even in a hard season, families can make thoughtful decisions that protect their child’s stability and future.
It also brings hope. Divorce may be painful, but it does not have to define the rest of a family’s story. With planning, support, and a child-centered approach, parents can move forward more clearly and compassionately than they may think at the beginning.
Resources Mentioned
Social stories for divorce conversations
Special needs trusts
Parenting coordination
Mediation for families with children with disabilities
About the Guest
Mary Ann Hughes is a certified divorce coach, mediator, and parenting coordinator who specializes in supporting families with children with special needs. She is also a mother of two autistic young adults and understands firsthand the emotional and practical realities families may face during divorce.
Related Resources for Parents
If you found this episode helpful, you may also enjoy these resources:
Caring for the Caregiver: Self-Care Tips for Parents of Kids with Special Needs
IEP 101: How to Advocate for Your Child in the School System
Supporting Your Child’s Education: Advocacy Tips & Resources for Parents
Just Diagnosed? A Guide for Arizona Parents Starting the Autism Journey
Explore more parent resources at:
https://pureheartstherapy.com/blog
