43 | Divorce, Co-Parenting & Special Needs Planning | Anna P. Krolikowska
Divorce can be one of the most emotionally demanding transitions a family experiences. When a child has autism, developmental differences, or additional support needs, parents often carry even more questions about routines, therapies, legal planning, communication, and long-term stability. In this episode of the Autism Family Resource Podcast, Brian Keene speaks with family law attorney Anna P. Krolikowska about how families can approach divorce with greater intention and clarity.
Anna brings a grounded, compassionate perspective to a topic that can feel intimidating and overwhelming. Rather than focusing only on court battles and legal labels, this conversation highlights thoughtful planning, child-centered decision-making, and the importance of finding the right process and the right professionals for your situation.
Listen to the Full Episode
Listen to this conversation for practical guidance on divorce process options, co-parenting considerations, communication with children, and long-term planning for families raising neurodivergent children or children with disabilities.
Memorable Quote
“Please protect your children and shelter them during your divorces as much as you can.”
In This Episode We Discuss
The difference between litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce
Why collaborative divorce may be helpful for some families
How to think about co-parenting beyond labels like custody
Why specificity matters when creating parenting plans
How therapy schedules, medical decisions, and equipment need to be considered
Why special needs trusts and benefit planning may matter
How to communicate with children about divorce in age-appropriate ways
The importance of choosing professionals who help you feel heard and supported
Key Themes From the Conversation
Choosing the right divorce process matters
One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is that parents may have more options than they realize. Anna explains that litigation is one path, but mediation and collaborative divorce may also be available depending on the family’s situation. For some parents, especially those trying to make intentional decisions around a child’s long-term support needs, collaborative approaches may allow for more thoughtful planning.
Child-centered planning goes beyond percentages of time
Rather than thinking only in terms of labels or percentages, Anna encourages parents to think practically about daily life. Where will the child sleep on a Monday night? Who is taking them to therapy? Who keeps track of medical information? These details may seem small, but they shape the child’s day-to-day experience and can reduce future conflict when they are discussed clearly upfront.
Communication with children deserves great care
This conversation also highlights how important it is to protect children emotionally during divorce. Anna emphasizes that children should not be used as messengers between parents and that parents should be intentional about what they share, when they share it, and how they talk about the transition. Children do not need adult details. They need reassurance, safety, and support.
Planning ahead can protect long-term supports
For families of children with disabilities, divorce planning may include additional layers such as therapy schedules, medical decision-making, state benefits, and long-term financial planning. Anna strongly encourages parents to work with professionals who understand special needs planning so that avoidable mistakes do not affect future eligibility for important supports.
Common Questions Parents Ask
How should parents talk to children about divorce?
Children usually need simple, age-appropriate information and reassurance that they are loved and supported. It can help when parents are aligned about what they will say and avoid sharing adult conflict or details that children do not need to carry.
What if my child has therapies, appointments, or support needs that make scheduling more complicated?
That is exactly why detailed planning matters. Thinking through transportation, records, home programs, equipment, and communication ahead of time can make a big difference for the child and reduce stress for both parents.
Can divorce agreements be changed later if something no longer works?
Some parts may be modified depending on state law and the situation, but not everything can be easily undone. This is why thoughtful planning and getting state-specific legal guidance early can be so important.
Why This Conversation Matters for Families
Families raising neurodivergent children are often already managing a full plate of therapies, school supports, routines, sensory needs, and emotional regulation. When divorce enters the picture, it can add another layer of uncertainty. This conversation offers a reminder that parents do not have to make every decision alone, and that intentional planning can create more stability than many families realize.
It also reinforces something deeply important: supporting a child through divorce is not just about legal documents. It is about preserving safety, predictability, dignity, and connection. That kind of support can have a lasting impact on how children experience change and how families move forward.
Resources Mentioned
Anna Kay Law
State bar associations
Collaborative divorce associations
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers
Special needs trust planning attorneys
About the Guest
Anna Krolikowska is a family law attorney focused on helping families move through divorce with thoughtful planning and a stronger foundation for the future. Her work often includes supporting parents of children with disabilities as they navigate co-parenting, legal decisions, and long-term planning.
Related Resources for Parents
If you found this episode helpful, you may also enjoy these resources:
Caring for the Caregiver: Self-Care Tips for Parents of Kids with Special Needs
IEP 101: How to Advocate for Your Child in the School System
Supporting Your Child’s Education: Advocacy Tips & Resources for Parents
Explore more parent resources at:
https://pureheartstherapy.com/blog
