66 | Autism Parenting: Small Changes That Make a Big Difference | Nicole Dahl

Parenting an autistic or neurodivergent child can sometimes feel like trying to assemble a puzzle without having all the pieces. Families may be navigating school concerns, therapy waitlists, sensory differences, difficult transitions, and advice that does not always fit their child.

In this episode of the Autism Family Resource Podcast, Brian Keene speaks with Nicole Dahl about her family’s journey from uncertainty and survival mode toward greater understanding, connection, and hope.

Nicole is the parent of a 19-year-old autistic son who recently graduated from high school and is preparing to attend college. She shares the challenges her family experienced during his early years, along with the small adjustments, supportive professionals, and persistent advocacy that helped him move forward.

Listen to the Full Episode

Memorable Quote

“You love your child more than anyone on this earth. There has never been a better advocate for your kiddo.”

In This Episode We Discuss

• Recognizing early signs that a child may need additional support

• Navigating an autism diagnosis without a clear roadmap

• Advocating when a child is struggling at school

• How sensory differences can affect attention and participation

• Why children may appear to be “just playing” during therapy

• Using practical strategies to support transitions at home

• Helping children understand and communicate their emotions

• Recognizing progress that happens slowly over time

• Focusing on a child’s strengths rather than only their challenges

Key Themes From the Conversation

Curiosity Can Change the Question

One of the strongest themes in this conversation is the importance of remaining curious.

A child who is avoiding school, moving constantly, refusing certain materials, or struggling to leave an activity may not be trying to create a problem. Their behavior may be communicating discomfort, uncertainty, sensory overload, or a need for more information.

Nicole describes how her son struggled with fluorescent lights in the classroom. Once a school-based occupational therapist recognized the sensory issue, alternative lighting helped him participate alongside other students.

The question shifted from “Why can’t he focus?” to “What is making it difficult for him to focus?”

That shift can open the door to more supportive solutions.

Small Changes Can Have a Large Impact

Some of the most meaningful supports discussed in the episode were surprisingly simple.

A wobble stool gave Nicole’s son a safer way to move while working. A board allowed him to save an unfinished Lego project instead of suddenly taking it apart. Clear first-then-next language helped him understand what was happening during transitions.

These adjustments did not try to change who he was. They changed the environment so he could participate more comfortably.

Families interested in learning more about sensory needs may also find our guide, Sensory Processing 101: Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Needs, helpful.

Parents Deserve to Understand Therapy

Nicole also discusses the disconnect she sometimes felt during therapy.

She knew her son had goals related to dressing, handwriting, and daily routines, but she did not initially understand why sessions included swings, puzzles, games, and other playful activities.

Once a therapist explained how those activities supported coordination, hand skills, regulation, and participation, the sessions began to make more sense.

Parents should feel comfortable asking therapists what they are working on, why an activity was selected, and how the family can support the same skill during everyday routines.

Progress Is Not Always Obvious

Progress rarely arrives with trumpets and confetti.

It may look like needing fewer reminders to brush teeth, tolerating a transition more easily, identifying an uncomfortable texture, or communicating the need for a break.

These changes can be difficult to notice when a family is focused on getting through each day. Looking back over several weeks or months can help parents see growth that may otherwise be missed.

Common Questions Parents Ask

How can I figure out why my autistic child is struggling at school?

Begin by gathering specific information about when and where the difficulty occurs. Ask teachers and therapists what happened before the challenge, what the environment was like, and what seemed to help.

What should I ask my child’s therapist?

Ask what skills are being addressed, why each activity was chosen, and how those skills connect to daily life. You can also ask for one or two realistic strategies to practice during home routines.

How can I make transitions easier for my child?

Give clear information about what will happen first, what will happen next, and what they can expect afterward. Visual reminders, extra processing time, and a way to safely pause an unfinished activity may also help.

Why This Conversation Matters for Families

Families are often given labels, appointments, and recommendations without being given a clear map for what comes next.

Nicole’s story reminds parents that they are allowed to ask questions. They are allowed to request explanations. They are allowed to keep looking when a classroom, provider, or strategy is not meeting their child’s needs.

It also offers an important message of hope. The difficult season a family is experiencing today does not determine what will be possible in the future.

Supporting a child does not mean ignoring challenges. It means addressing those challenges while continuing to see the child’s personality, interests, abilities, and potential.

Resources Mentioned

• Individualized Education Programs, or IEPs

• School-based occupational therapy

• Private and home-based pediatric therapy

• Coro

• Flexible seating and alternative classroom lighting

• First-then-next transition language

About the Guest

Nicole Dahl is the parent of a 19-year-old autistic son who recently graduated from high school and is preparing to attend college.

She is also the Vice President of Marketing at Coro. Nicole brings both professional experience and the lived perspective of a parent who has navigated diagnosis, school systems, therapy, sensory differences, and the gradual journey from survival mode toward greater connection and confidence.

Related Resources for Parents

If you found this episode helpful, you may also enjoy these resources:

• IEP 101: How to Advocate for Your Child in the School System

• Sensory Processing 101: Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Needs

• Home-Based Therapy: 5 Benefits of In-Home Pediatric Care for Children with Disabilities

• Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy: Supporting Your Child’s Unique Strengths

Explore more parent resources at:
https://pureheartstherapy.com/blog

For additional guidance, explore our Parent Resource Hub for practical tips on supporting autistic children at school, in therapy, and during everyday home routines.